OK, this is beneath me but here I go...

Are these two wearing the same dress?  Somebody named Kate Walsh and the always lovely Diane Lane.  Maybe they're just similar?  If there was one restrained jersey column dress on the red carpet there was ten billion so forgive me if I begin to blur.  

And what's with the Tarzan?  I thought that Nancy Reagan effectively killed that look when she put her brittle x-ray of a body into that Galanos number at the 1981 inaugural ball (please, Nancy, learn from always impeccably turned out Helen Mirren, there are some styles more appropriate for a lady of a certain age).  But no, everybody who wasn't in the Strapless Mafia at this year's Academy Awards was sporting one of these toga-esque asymmetrical tubes.  Not to my taste, but at least they were slightly better than the army of strapless gowns, the bodices of which seemed to fall into two categories: overly constructed causing the rigid piece to wear the woman (plus double as a kevlar bullet proof vest!) vs. digging into even the firmest flesh in an attempt to stay up (thus giving its wearer four bosoms like a cow).  Good lord, is there some law against straps?  Must we deny gravity?

Thank heavens for the individuality of Marion Cotillard 

in that equally fun and ravishing mermaid gown that must have been hand crafted right on her body by Jean Paul Gautier.  

The color was luminous on her (why did so many brunettes insist on wearing black which generally did nothing for them?) and the cut was flattering and sexy.  Most surprising of all the dress actually looked soft and comfortable sans the stays, elastic, duct tape and wire involved in so many others.  Leave it to the cute French girl!

Other thoughts on the Oscars and then I won't ever mention anything so trite again, I swear:  Julie Christie should have had that Best Actress award for the haunting Away From Her.  No matter how many times it's said, Clooney is just too fabulous to be true.  Who knew Javier Bardem was so devilishly handsome once he lost that hairdo I had in 8th grade (and he escorted his mother who is lovely and way cool with all that silver jewelry!)?

OK, that's it!  I won't bring any of this up again!